During the initial surge of the Covid pandemic, I found solace and creative expression in the realm of digital collages. These intricate artworks became a portal to embark on a profound journey of self-discovery, as I delved into old family photographs and cherished memories. Within the carefully chosen selection of six images, I sought to encapsulate the very essence of my parents, siblings, and the visionary founder of Pakistan, Muhammad Ali Jinnah. Each photograph not only evoked memories but also conveyed the deep-rooted traditions, nuanced attitudes, and intricate relationships that shaped our lives.

  
These traditions and relationships were imprinted upon us, the children, leaving an indelible mark on our paths. As we matured, some of my siblings rebelled against the weight of these inherited customs, while others embraced and carried them forward. Yet, the echoes of our family's history persist, casting a haunting presence on our present lives.

  
In a world that beckoned cultural assimilation, my parents held steadfastly to their ancestral heritage, resisting the currents of the new British culture that surrounded them. As their children, we became inheritors of their convictions, compelled to navigate the delicate balance between preserving our cultural identity and adapting to the society we inhabited. Through the artful exploration of attire, demeanour, and the layering of images, I delve into the inherent tension embedded within this complex dynamic. The collages themselves emerge as a synthesis of obscured, intertwined and merged visuals, evoking a sense of both translucence and opaqueness. Each image becomes a vessel of profound narratives, carrying the weight of histories, lived experiences, and the interwoven destinies that bind our family.

  
With these digital collages, my intention is to unearth the multifaceted layers that constitute our collective identity, delving into the intricate tapestry of our heritage and contemplating the lasting reverberations of the choices made by our ancestors.

SILENT INTERPLAY

In 'Flight,' I delved into my own identity and explored the historical migration of people in the Indian subcontinent during the end of British colonial rule in 1947\. This period was marked by violence, uproar, and bloodshed as Indian and Muslim leaders fought for power and independence for their people. The outcome was the partition of India and the birth of the new Muslim country, Pakistan. Through the mediums of fabrics and stitches, I aimed to capture the tension and complexity of this historical moment.

  
Working within different spaces, I carefully considered the architecture and layout of each location. Each installation was designed to interact with and respond to the unique characteristics of the space. I allowed the physical environment to shape and inform the presentation of my artwork.

  
I sourced torn pieces of pure Indian silks, cotton, and pre-owned women's and children's traditional clothing, such as Salwar Kameez and Sarees, from charity shops. These fragments, infused with their own stories and histories, became the building blocks of my artwork. Through painstaking hand-stitching and merging, I brought these disparate elements together. Each stitch represented a visible mark of violence, but it was also a sign of regaining control and resilience. I wanted to create a visual dialogue between the presence of cultural clothing within the present surroundings.

  
To further connect my personal experiences with the broader narrative of migration and struggle, I incorporated elements of my own storage bags. These bags had served as vessels for my belongings during times of personal hardship. By integrating them into the artwork, I not only infused my own journey into the piece but also symbolised the journeys of countless individuals who were uprooted and displaced during that time.

  
As I moved from one space to another, I adapted the arrangement and configuration of the artwork to engage with the specific architecture of each setting. Whether it involved suspending fabric panels from ceiling beams, draping textiles over pillars, or using the walls as canvases for stitched narratives, I aimed to create an immersive experience that merged the historical context with the present surroundings.

  
Through 'Flight,' I aimed to create a dialogue between the past and the present, drawing upon the architectural elements of each space to amplify the narratives of migration and struggle. By integrating my artwork with the physical environment, I hoped to foster a deeper connection between viewers and the stories embodied within the fabrics and stitches, inviting them to reflect on the impact of history on individual lives and collective memory.

FLIGHT

_Redemption_, 2023 is a personal journey of growth, self-reflection, and atonement. This artwork embodies the inherent human capacity for transformation and the pursuit of healing and inner peace. Within the piece, I depict my hands in a prayer gesture, symbolising a profound connection to the divine and a sincere yearning for redemption. Cradled within my palms is a dying rose, gradually losing its petals, representing the fragility and impermanence of life. As these petals gracefully descend, they find solace and renewal in the powerful embrace of the Mangla Dam—a colossal structure on the river Jhelum in Pakistan, renowned for its multipurpose functionality. 

  
Through this composition, _Redemption_, 2023 invites contemplation on the complex interplay between personal redemption and the larger forces at play in our lives. It serves as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the inherent potential for positive change. As I embark on this transformative journey, I seek to heal wounds, reconcile with past actions, and find solace and renewal within. 

  
This work beckons viewers to reflect on their own paths of redemption, to confront and reconcile with their past, and to embrace the transformative power of self-reflection. It serves as a reminder that through inner growth and a genuine commitment to change, we can find redemption and embark on a path towards inner peace and personal fulfilment.

 Redemption

_Matriarch_, 2023 is a depiction of my late mother, a traditional Pakistani homemaker who played a central role in our family. With strength and assertiveness, she created a nurturing home environment despite the challenges she faced bringing 9 children up. In this work, I capture her commanding presence and the depth of her character through the use of black, white, and brown tones. Standing outside our family home in Nottingham, the work pays homage to her unwavering strength and leadership. It serves as a reminder of the profound impact of matriarchs in shaping our lives and invites viewers to contemplate their own experiences with powerful female figures.

 Matriarch

_Warrior_, 2023 is a poignant portrayal of my late father, standing tall and resolute in his role as a guardian of my family and our Kashmiri heritage. Symbolised by his adorned armour, which echoes the distinguished attire of Salahuddin Ayyubi, the great Sultan of Egypt, he embodies strength, honour, and unwavering commitment. The limited colour palette of black, white, and brown used to paint his portrait accentuates his commanding presence against the vibrant backdrop of the bustling high street. 

  
With his back turned to the colourful commotion of the high street, my father's stoic stance conveys his steadfast dedication to protecting our family and cultural identity from external influences. The Armour he wears serves as a symbolic shield, reflecting his deep-rooted pride and his role as a guardian of our ancestral legacy. In this composition, the vivid and dynamic high street represents the ever-changing world that surrounds us, while my father remains grounded in his values and heritage. The contrasting colours and tones emphasise his distinct presence past and present, highlighting his unwavering commitment to preserving our Kashmiri roots. 

  
_Warrior_, 2023 invites viewers to contemplate the timeless values embodied by Salahuddin Ayyubi and echoed through my father's spirit. It is a tribute to his profound influence, reminding us of the strength and resilience found within our ancestral heritage. Through this work, my father's presence and legacy continue to inspire and guide me on our own journeys of self-discovery and cultural preservation.

Warrior

In _Silence_, 2023, the delicate pink rose delicately rests on a soft white pillow, creating a captivating visual representation of the fragility and delicateness of life. This artwork serves as a poignant reminder of the ephemeral nature of our existence and the importance of finding solace and introspection within ourselves.

  
The pink rose, with its exquisite petals and subtle hues, embodies the delicate beauty that graces our lives. Like life itself, the rose is transient, with each petal representing a fleeting moment, a passing breath. Its presence on the pillow symbolises the significance of embracing the fragility and impermanence of our experiences, urging us to cherish the present and cultivate a deeper connection with our inner selves.

  
The soft white pillow, providing a gentle resting place for the rose, represents a sanctuary for introspection and self-discovery. It invites us to seek solace and reflection within the quiet corners of our minds, to explore the depths of our emotions, thoughts, and aspirations. The pillow's softness and comforting presence create an atmosphere of serenity, encouraging us to find inner peace and nourishment amidst the chaos of the outside world.

  
Through the interplay of the delicate rose and the inviting pillow, _Silence_, 2023 calls upon us to pause, to listen to the whispers of our souls, and to honour the delicateness of life itself. It beckons us to embrace vulnerability, acknowledge the fleeting nature of our experiences, and embark on a journey of personal growth and self-discovery.

 Silence

In _Self-portrait in the Moonlight,_ 2022, I explore the interplay between light and shadow, symbolising the duality of existence and the hidden depths within. This artwork is set in my local park, a tranquil oasis where I frequently seek respite from the bustling city and find solace and contemplation. The park holds a special place in my heart as it reminds me of the cherished memories of gathering with my family during special occasions like Eid, where we would dress in new traditional attire, and my father would capture precious moments together.

  
Within the artwork, I portray myself adorned in traditional dress, paying homage to those cherished moments spent with my family during Eid celebrations. Under the enchanting glow of the moon, I immerse myself in a state of quiet introspection, seeking inner peace and embarking on a journey of self-discovery.

  
The interplay of light and casted shadow in the composition accentuates the contrast between the external world and the inner realm. The moonlight acts as a guiding source, illuminating the path to self-understanding and tranquillity. As the gentle radiance of the moon caresses my face, it serves as a symbol of the inner light that guides me along my personal journey.

  
This artwork invites viewers to reflect upon their own experiences of finding solace and tranquillity amidst the chaos of everyday life. It evokes a sense of connection to nature and underscores the importance of carving out moments for introspection and nurturing the inner self. Through the depiction of traditional attire and the serene setting of the park, the work celebrates the beauty of cultural traditions and pays homage to the profound memories that shape our individual identities.

Self Portrait in the Moonlight

In _Self Portrait with Flowers_, 2022, a captivating essence of silence, contemplation, and loneliness permeates the artwork. With closed eyes, I embark on an introspective journey, disconnecting from external distractions and immersing myself in a world of profound self-reflection.

  
I have depicted myself in traditional South Asian dress, enveloped in a serene ambience among an arrangement of flowers. Each bloom symbolises the transient nature of life and the inherent beauty found in moments of growth and transformation. The closed eyes, devoid of visual stimuli, invite a deeper connection with inner thoughts, emotions, and aspirations. Amidst the hushed stillness, a sense of solitude prevails, evoking feelings of contemplation and introspection. 

  
It is within this silence that I find solace, a space where profound self-discovery and personal growth take root. The absence of external noise allows for heightened awareness of the subtle whispers of the soul. While immersed in this introspective state, there is a profound awareness of being observed by the outside world. The viewer becomes a silent witness, observing the vulnerability and rawness of the self-portrait. This dynamic creates a poignant contrast between the intimate inner world and the external gaze, reminding us of the constant interplay between self-perception and external judgment.

Self Portrait with Flowers

_Home_, 2022 captures the yearnings of nostalgia, longing, and a deep sense of belonging to my parent's homeland. In this artwork, I convey the profound emotions that accompany the longing for a place that holds deep personal significance. The village, seen from above, symbolises the yearning to connect with the roots and memories that shaped my identity. It serves as a reminder of the cultural heritage and ancestral ties that continue to influence my sense of self, even from a distance. _Home_, 2022 signifies the unwavering strength within me to endure the longing and persist in the search for a sense of connection and belonging, despite the contrasting realities of my life in the UK. Through the juxtaposition of my self-portrait and the bird's-eye view of the village, I invite viewers to reflect on their own experiences of nostalgia, longing, and the complexities of cultural identity. It serves as a visual narrative that acknowledges the enduring power of memories and the resilience required to navigate the dualities of our lives, bridging the gap between the past and present, homeland and adopted country.

  

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