What does the experience of resilience look like?  The process in response to the happenings in our lives, the situation at hand represented by anxiety, fear, uncertainty, apprehension. This piece represents identity, illness and the lived experience and the impact from the pandemic. 

Pause. Breathe. Reflect. Connect. 



Support

Abstract expression of connection and the embodied invisible.


Onwards, I tell myself. New perspective. New day. New Me.
Navigating into the new, I embrace the inner light...

Inner Light 

Connection is all about stepping out of your comfort zone to engage with friends, family and people around you. 

Connections 

The isolation, continuity and flow during the pandemic led me to further explore the Inner connection and outer connections with others and nature. The focus is on the continuity and flow despite challenges and the depths of human resilience in the face of adversity and power of collective support. 


Continuity

This piece illustrates the vulnerability and isolation I felt when I could not keep up with my friends, peers and everyone around me. I felt left behind and subjected to all sorts of social expectations and pressures.

Humanity

During a flare up os symptoms, the whole body feels as though it’s on fire. This is what pain looks like to me.

The Pain That Burns Within

Connecting with the many hues that surround my invisible world.

State of Being

Shape of Change

'I exist
I survive
I endure
I withstand But most of all,
Living each day I meet life
Life meets me
I dare to hope Do you?'
Changing my personal attitudes towards illness was vital to looking ahead. The positive impact creative expression has on self-esteem and self-identity empowers me to maintain this balance. To feel I am back in charge of myself is empowering.

Fluidity

Creative Empowerment

Illnesses have the capacity to take on a life of their own. I felt
as though I was stuck in the mud, overtaken by a new force. At times, unable to move forward.

Stuck in the Mud

To be seen, heard and included breaks the isolation.

Power of Inclusion

I drew this piece while going through severe fatigue. I  express the frustration, agitation and exasperation I was feeling at the time with all the dots, lines, zigzags and sharp angles.

 I Am Fatigue

The macro and micro communications within myself and my outside environment. Working in unison to maintain balance despite surrounding chaos inside and outside.

Synergy

This piece represents the struggle I had with myself. The impact my illness had on me. The loss of Self-identity and distortion of Self-image. 


My inner Reality

To find balance. To move beyond. To become...


I Become Balance

‘The days I carry on despite inner battles
The days I struggle to keep up with
You see me
Do you see my pain?’

Visibility 

‘I walk past life’s stolen moments, shadows that haunt of shattered dreams, glimpsing reflections of who I was.’ I explore perceptions of my identity aligning the dots, mixing different colours. Bringing self into focus, I found the opportunity to reflect on how illnesses can start to define who we are.

Stolen Moments -  When Skies Are Grey

Body posturing denotes the mind-body experience of anticipation, uncertainty, change, concerns and all the emotions accompanying lived experience with illness. Physical positions signify interconnections, support, and collective strength. Strength of unity between people sharing the same ideals as they stand together to make a difference, symbolising the power of solidarity. 

Collective Strength

The colour and movement in this image reveal the interplay between the elements of chaos and calm. It's about the shifts in movement within to find balance, connect and communicate with ourselves and others. It shows the inner rhythm that communicates the complex interactions and the fluidity of the lived experience arising from the impact of illness.

My Inner Rhythm

The workings of each organ are governed by clockwork precision and the numerous mechanisms in place to counter adversity leaves me in awe. The dynamic complex process that governs the regulation of minute-to-minute function and the adjustments within the hard-working organs that take place during illness, fascinates me. Here, I have used colours to capture the different energies that drive inflammation and the numerous battles within the lungs with inflammation. 

What does the experience of resilience really look like?  By visually capturing the subjective invisible world of feeling, pain and the connection between our mind and body, I intend to cultivate a richer awareness of our inner body functioning during illness. The different colour fields depict varying degrees of inflammation, healing and destruction. They highlight the intensity and distribution of Pain. 

I have incorporated figures within the organs. These figures symbolize a 'sense of duality'. On one hand, they are fighting the organ against vasculitis. On the other hand, they are protecting and supporting the organ. The figures represent synergy, connection and communication. The flow maintaining inner balance. The communication involved both at a micro and macro level within the organs to sustain Harmony and Steady-state in-the-midst of ongoing chaos. 

The interconnections with Immunology, Physiology, Radiology and the human experience drives me to further explore my understanding of the 'inner reality' through artistic expression. This is my abstraction as an artist, patient and Clinician on ‘what pain looks like’, ‘what living with vasculitis, an autoimmune long-term illness, looks like’. The X-ray used is my own.


Equipoise

‘I stumble I fall
I break
I mend 
I get back up’ 

I use my art to represent social inclusion and respect for people subjected to stereotyping and stigma due to illness or disability. It highlights the lived experience and the sociocultural-political struggles and challenges faced. Social stigma, stereotyping, attitudes, fears, influences from cultural and spiritual beliefs can make the illness experience an emotionally draining encounter. Changing social attitudes towards illness and disability is key to moving forward. This image signifies the power of interconnections, support and collective strength. 


Interconnections

‘I stumble I fall
I break
I mend 
I get back up 
The days I struggle to keep up 
You see me
Do you see my pain?’ 

This piece represents maintaining balance and everyday rhythms despite the chaos within. Highlighting the strength of fellowship, social inclusion and respect for people subjected to stereotyping and stigma due to illness or disability. I want to direct people’s attention to the mental and physical anguish and strain that engulf the lived experience of illness. The power mutual respect, social engagement and cultural inclusion holds to uplift and alleviate the situation for a person living through illness. Could we all take moment to stop and think?


Fellowship 

"The days between ‘the calm’ and ‘the storm’ 
The days I carry on despite inner battles 
The days I struggle to keep up with
The days that are neither here nor there

Now, you see me
Now, do you see my pain? 

I am “living” each day
I feel triumphant as I face them all
The calm, the storm and the in-between days 
Am not alone
You see me through it all"

Strength of compassion and the power of togetherness Is my voice of hope.


The Days of Calm, Storm and the In-between

The illness started to dominate, overtaking and overpowering me. Slowly losing who I was, I felt I could not keep up with everyone around me, subjected to social expectations and pressures. I felt isolated and vulnerable.

 This image represents feeling trapped by restrictions imposed on myself and my lifestyle by illness. My battle with image distortion and loss of self-identity. 




Inner Turmoil

The isolation, continuity, and flow during the pandemic, led me to further explore the inner connection and outer connections with others. This piece focuses on the continuous flux and flow despite challenges. The depths of human resilience in the face of adversity and the power of collective support.


Interconnection

I am trying to find calm and balance in spite of the disarray and disruption within. The vibrant background colours are the positive energies surrounding and empowering me. This piece represents working in unison to maintain balance despite surrounding chaos inside and outside. 

Take a moment to pause and reflect.


Balance 

The concept of 'Overlap' is the idea that I am not one person one day and a different person the next but that there are transitions and overlap between who I am from day-to-day. I look at different versions of myself, along my illness journey, to capture the different vibes surrounding me. 

Body posturing denotes the mind-body experience of anticipation, uncertainty, change, concerns and all the emotions accompanying lived experience with illness. Physical positions signify interconnection, support, and collective strength. 

Overlap

Transcending illness using art defies illness defining you.’ After losing myself to my illness, my first step towards reinventing my identity was using the creative process. Social inclusion, engagement brought on by creativity was a powerful healing experience. The strength of unity between people sharing the same ideals as they stand together to make a difference and symbolise the power of solidarity. The balance and harmony, brought on by togetherness. Above all, see me as a person first, a fellow co-human. 

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Shanali Perera

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