I feel myself turning over
Over and over,
Inside and out
Left and right.

I see my world turning over
Flying me up,
burying me down.

My brain turns into 
A melted candle
My lungs become water.
I become a Cloud
I turn over 
In and Out!

There was a time when I was made believe, something was wrong in my head. My imagination was taking me over, making me a person I didn't mean to be. It was all in me, it was all in my head. The words revolved around me for thousands of time. Then one day, I snapped. I realised it was not in my head, but the truth! The truth of lies and deceive.
I woke up from my nightmare but I ruined me. I turned into the ghost of myself, watching my blood flow - but they carry something else that was slowly killing the insides of my body. My brain freezes, sometimes I cannot breathe, my thyroid stopped working properly. 

To overcome my trauma that affected my mind and body, I started painting myself. I painted the insides of my body, the places that hurt. Every time I felt pain, I started painting, focusing on the area that was hurting. 

During the process of my healing, I received an unexpected companionship that helped me deal with my pain through my artwork and poems.

This #correspondence between us had helped me focus on life, rather than my job which somehow became my only priority during the difficult time. 

Checkout my friend's profile: https://www.artconnect.com/profile/saiyad-saif-ali-91230392-dd1d-47e8-a5a5-f0e6935cdff7


Insides of me turning over

Living in the city where there are hardly any greens, have taken us far away from the nature. 
We were once part of the nature but now- we can hardly relate ourselves with nature.

The performance প্রকৃতি আর্চনা  was done in the Crack Summer Art Camp, 2015 in Kushtia, Bangladesh. The place was a hatchery with trees and crops around, a little far from the city. Being there for seven days was a self reflection on my relationship with nature. 

My performance was my bonding with the nature, gaining knowledge from it and sharing with others. 
From dawn to duck, I spent my time meditating, roaming around the trees, crop fields and water bodies to find new objects, materials that the land had to offer. I collected the old dried seeds, dead twigs, leaves and many others and turned them into amulates and distributed to the people around me. Throughout the day I continued the act in a ritualistic form till the evening. At the sun set, I gathered all my remaining materials, all collected from the nature and immersed into the water, like an offering to the nature itself. 

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Ruxmini Reckvana Q Choudhury

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