Aphrodite

Anahita

Googoosh

Leila

Ellaria

Blonde: A collage of "beauty" as dictated by the media. Meaning blonde-haired, blue-eyed, no body hair in sight, and a name that you could find on a license plate keychain on vacation with your family in Florida.

  
Bad On Purpose \[America\]⁠; pages 1 & 2⁠

⁠

I was 8 years old, sitting in Ms. Enriquez's class, when the boy sitting next to me turned and out of nowhere said "you have a mustache". and yea bruh I did, but so did many other girls in my class. mine was simply more noticeable because my hair was black while theirs was blonde. ⁠

⁠

And at 8 years old I started to hate the hair on my body. hair that grew in order to keep me warm, to prevent infection and disease, and that grew as a symbol of my heritage and the country from where my ancestors came. but in that moment a thought was planted: that being Iranian meant being hairy and being hairy meant that I could never be beautiful.⁠

⁠

Young girls being raised by immigrant parents with different skin tones and nuanced beauty can't escape the media just like everyone else and in the 90s and 00s, we generally saw that uber thin, (usually) blonde-haired-blue-eyed, white women, with not a single hair on their body (aside from their head) were the standard of beauty accepted by all.⁠

⁠

I don't feel this way now. I feel sad for young kiki who wished that her eyes were lighter, who didn't love her thick hair because it looked fatter in braids than it did for a white girl, or who felt disgusting when she had visible hair on her legs in public. ⁠

⁠

It took some time but now I see - I have dark brown eyes that light up in the sun. my nose, while it isn't the size of a button, is part of the reason why I look so much like my baba joon. I have a dark, curly mane like a fuckin LION. and I have very noticeable hair all over my body that sometimes I let grow and sometimes I remove but that never dictates the way I see myself. because I will not let an ideology born of the past rule how much I love myself in the present. ⁠

⁠

and I hope my fellow first/second gen brown girls who see this feel the same <3 shave/don't shave, light skin/dark skin, we're gorgeous either way.⁠
  
  
A page from "Bad on Purpose", a zine exploring how it felt growing up Iranian in America and growing up American to my Iranian family. Developed during my 2023 artist in residence with KRNT Studios in Kauai, HI.

Blonde 2

Blonde 1

A page from "Bad on Purpose", a zine exploring how it felt growing up Iranian in America and growing up American to my Iranian family. Developed during my 2023 artist in residence with KRNT Studios in Kauai, HI. 

Never American Enough

Terrorist: A collection of nicknames I was given in my adolescence by my Caucasian friends.

  
Bad On Purpose \[America\]; page 5

  
Nicknames I heard growing up, from friends;

  
Osama's cousin

Latika (as in, Slumdog Millionaire)

Terrorist
  
  
Different, incorrect ways people have said my name;

  
\[Kiana\]

k-EYE-anna

KEE-anna

k-EYE-ana

  
\[Vaziri\]

vih-ZAH-ree

VA-zer-ree

  
my beautiful Qatari sister reminded me that my name belongs to me and my heritage. I speak it the way it's meant to be spoken and other people conform to that, not the other way around. 

  
to my other sisters, brothers, and everything in between around the world - people will continue to butcher your name, mispronounce it, and forget it because it's too complicated. it's up to you, to us, to teach them how to wield our names the way they should be wielded. because our names are passed down through thousands of years of tradition, culture, and ancestry and that kind of history we are meant to wear PROUDLY. so take note from the late and great Destiny's Child and tell 'em to SAY MY FCKN NAME.

  
A page from "Bad on Purpose", a zine exploring how it felt growing up Iranian in America and growing up American to my Iranian family. Developed during my 2023 artist in residence with KRNT Studios in Kauai, HI.

Terrorist

Phrases: American. An interactive piece composed of handmade, origami fortune tellers. Each one opens to reveal a phrase pertaining to my experience growing up Iranian in a predominantly Caucasian neighborhood in America.

  
Being Iranian isn’t wrong.

Body hair is okay.

This is my home.

I am desirable.

My life is for me and no one else.

I don’t have to look like anyone else.

I’m allowed to take up space.

I am right as I am.

  
A page from "Bad on Purpose", a zine exploring how it felt growing up Iranian in America and growing up American to my Iranian family. Developed during my 2023 artist in residence with KRNT Studios in Kauai, HI.

Phrases: American

The centerfold from "Bad on Purpose", a zine exploring how it felt growing up Iranian in America and growing up American to my Iranian family. Developed during my 2023 artist in residence with KRNT Studios in Kauai, HI. 

Centerfold

Phrases: Iranian. An interactive piece composed of handmade, origami fortune tellers. Each one opens to reveal a phrase pertaining to my experience growing up American in an Iranian family.

  
A page from "Bad on Purpose", a zine exploring how it felt growing up Iranian in America and growing up American to my Iranian family. Developed during my 2023 artist in residence with KRNT Studios in Kauai, HI. 

Phrases: Iranian

No Boundaries: The expectations placed upon me by my culture and my family, when no one in my immediate environment (in Seattle, WA) had the same burden to bear.

  
A page from "Bad on Purpose", a zine exploring how it felt growing up Iranian in America and growing up American to my Iranian family. Developed during my 2023 artist in residence with KRNT Studios in Kauai, HI. 

No Boundaries

Never Iranian Enough

Loved in Pieces: detailing how I felt as an Iranian growing up in America, being loved for the "good" or "productive" qualities I had, versus loving all of me, flaws and all.

  
A page from "Bad on Purpose", a zine exploring how it felt growing up Iranian in America and growing up American to my Iranian family. Developed during my 2023 artist in residence with KRNT Studios in Kauai, HI. 

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Kiana Vaziri