**I am humbled and experience gratitude for the endless grace and love, joy, and healing that god has expressed through my love of nature. I still believe in happy endings. Most people would look at my life and not expect me to be so normal. I am blessed beyond measure, and I am blown away at how today I am not haunted by my past I live in the present and look forward to the future.**

GRATTITUDE AND GRACE

**In February of 2023 I was diagnosed with Left Renal Clear Papillary Carcinoma (Cancer of the left kidney). I had a tumor removed and 6 months later found out I had another tumor in the left kidney. This put my priorities in place, and I began a healthy journey and cut out all processed foods, sugar, caffeine, and dairy. I introduced a cleaner organic way of eating, and I began to body build with my husband. I am happy to say that today I am cancer free and hope to stay that way.** 

TUMORS

**In April of 2022 I was involved in a motor vehicle accident that left me with a right shattered wrist and fractured elbow. I lost the ability to use my right hand, which was the hand I painted and played guitar with my dominate hand. I experienced excruciating pain through months of physical therapy to be left with 70% use of my right hand. I taught myself to paint with my left hand. Today I endure painful strength training to keep mobility in my right hand and have adapted to a new painting style.**

THE NERVE

**I did not grow up with a father, divorce was very common around me, and I had toxic relationships around me. It took being divorced twice to figure out I was lost in what it took to have a healthy relationship and marriage. I opened my heart, and I began to understand, and I began to grow in the right direction towards true love. It took years of healing to finally meet the love of my life, myself I never felt alone at the alter again.**

LEFT ALONE AT THE ALTER 

**This was how I felt the morning after I lost my daughter. Letting go of you was experiencing a death and I sank deep into the mud. I punished myself and made myself feel less than dirt. You are gone and I am still here and as time passed the sun rose and I began to lift my eyes towards a higher power. This water is what fed my soul, and I began to grow up.**

THE FIRST DAY

**I was invited to take part in a native American circle to bring in the new harvest. It took place on a beach on a full moon. It was a beautiful display of dancing around a fire, a drum circle, white crocheted shawls, and a wonderful ceremony where I was cleansed with sage and given peyote. I spent that night feeling like I was electric with color and had a most interesting conversation about love with a man on the moon.**

AN EVENING WITH PEYOTE

**I had an emotionally and verbally abusive mother, and my father left when I was 8 years old. This made me very distrustful of others. Later in life I met the man who would become my husband, and his mother played a big role in my healing journey by showing me unconditional love and acceptance. She was a good example and showed me the side of a parent I had not experienced. She always gleamed with joy at the sight of her family. She welcomed me with open arms, always let me know that I was loved, she never let me leave her house hungry and she always left her front door unlocked. You left this earth only a year after we met, you will never know the impact you had on my life Marlene, thank you.**

MARLENE, THANK YOU

**I have been playing flamenco guitar since I was 12 yrs old, and music has always been a source of healing. In my travels music was always a wonderful way to connect with people. In my darkest hours music saved my life. I spent late nights pouring my soul into a journal of songs. Performing allowed me to feel as if I was confronting my personal demons, it was a therapeutic exhale that connected me to a higher power. I love music and I enjoy all genres and musical styles.**

A GIRL AND HER GUITAR

**This is what severe depression looks like. The process of surrendering and allowing the sun to transform my pain into healing powers. When I began to feel weary and fatigued the sun was a healing energy that allowed me to connect to a higher power to surrender all the heavy burdens that I chose to carry in my life I felt in this moment like I was weighed down very low carrying the weight of my deep depression due to loss and betrayal the sun is burning beginning to swallow me with its fire and purifying my soul.**

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