**“Touch Me Till I Vomit”** is a piece about the yearning, pressure, and emptiness that comes from trying to connect with the world. Inspired by works like _Inbred_ by Ethel Cain and _L’Absinthe_ by Degas, it explores the dissonance between wanting connection but your attempts going unnoticed. The people surrounding the central figure aren’t cruel or monstrous—they simply don’t exist in her reality. They blur into the background, happy, present, but unreachable. Meanwhile, she’s deeply aware of the _sonder_ of the situation. Each person around her carries a full life of their own, but none are aware of her inner complexity or struggle. She’s taken the time to get ready, to show up, to meet the world—but her effort feels out of sync with the world.

She brings pieces of her life with her—tools for bookbinding, hoping to make a night of memories—but they go unused. She carries a hairpiece of peacock feathers, the symbol of Hera, the goddess of marriage but remains alone. For introverts and neurodivergent people, this experience can feel painfully familiar. The rare nights when you push yourself out into the world, hoping for connection, can end up feeling lonelier than staying home. Real interactions often fall short of their imagined warmth. And in those moments, artificial love or connection—fleeting and meaningless in the long run—can feel more comforting than the sharp sting of real-life disconnection.

Still, the piece is not without hope. Despite the disappointment, the figure will gather herself, recharge her heart, and try again. Because not everything good comes easy. And even if this night ended in dissapointment, there will be others.
  
  

Touch me till I vomit

_P: Gnossienne is self-portrait explored as a fragmented digital mindscape. It is filled by an emotional archive built from browser tabs, search queries, media playlists, and the quiet rituals of online life._

_There is always a part of someone we will never truly know. We grow up believing we understand the people closest to us or that they understand us. But your thoughts, your fears, your dreams, your inner world is vast, private, and unknowable."_

_"In the past, the closest we could come to seeing into another’s hidden mind was through their diaries, like how Marilyn Monroe’s personal writings were sold after her death—her most private thoughts becoming public property. But today, our diaries are digital. Our browser histories, Incognito tabs, online or AI therapy sessions, and hidden music playlists act as archives of our most personal selves. Will there come a time when someone’s search history, their AI conversations, or their digital confessions are auctioned off like relics of their identity? In the future will someones interest history be up for auction?_

_"For many, the internet is the only place where they feel free to be themselves. In restrictive, religious, or conservative environments, anonymous forums become lifelines, keepers of questions too shameful to ask in real life. As a teenager, I sought out strangers online to answer the questions my community wouldn’t allow me to ask—about sexuality, about autonomy, about identity. My computer knows I like Addison Rae, Ethel Cain, Type O Negative, and the Nova Twins and accepts this. In real life, depending on who I was speaking to, I could only admit to liking one—carefully choosing what to reveal to avoid inquisition or ridicule. Now, AI therapy and search engines have replaced those strangers, offering us judgment-free guidance. But what happens when our most private digital confessions become visible?"_

_"P: Gnossienne merges traditional fine art with digital interfaces to reflect this tension between the personal and the public, the analog and the online. The work asks: In a world where AI knows us better than our closest friends, where does the true self exist? And when we are gone, who will own the echoes of our hidden selves?"_

P: Gnossienne

Can You Sleep Without the Static" discusses feelings of isolation, auto fiction and over-stimulation in the modern world. I created _Can You Sleep Without the Static_ to explore how digital noise, personal memories, and media intrude on our innermost thoughts—even when we try to find solitude or rest. I was created through a layered, mixed-media process that combined traditional drawing techniques with an exploration of self-perception of constant digital distortion.

I began by recording my body as if asleep and sketching my form from the video, capturing my silhouette in a raw, unfiltered state. To push this further, I projected my videos onto my freehand sketches onto the artwork itself, comparing how my perception of my body changed with seeing its 'real' recorded image. This act of layering became integral to the piece, mirroring the way we reconstruct memory, identity and constantly self-perform through digital media.

The work was built up with fine detail, combining ink, watercolor, and metallic accents to create an intricate, almost biomechanical aesthetic. The interplay of organic and artificial elements reinforces the theme of technological overstimulation— reflecting the fact that many of us fall asleep now with a phone in our hand or above our bed.

This artwork also reflects the pain of invisibility: for artists feeling discarded with AI creations who gain fame from derivative work, while original work is censored and hidden.

Can you sleep without the static?

"Beware the Friendly Stranger" explores the complexities of toxic femininity and female friendships. Created primarily with paints gifted by an ex-friend—my last tangible link to that relationship—it serves as both an exhumation and an exorcism of the toxic remnants that have kept me tethered to a romanticized past. This piece embodies the struggle to let go of unreciprocated care and the echoes of connection that linger long after their time has passed.

  
Incorporating physical and digital fragments of past friendship boards, shared memories, voice messages, and symbolic touchstones, the work reflects the need for closure and the exhausting cycles we enter when chasing traces of a bond that no longer exists. It highlights the painful contradiction of someone unwilling to nurture a relationship but equally unwilling to let it die—leaving both parties suspended in a state of limbo, or unlife.

Beware the Friendly Stranger

**Engineered for Success** reflects the manufactured ideal of normalcy and the psychological toll that comes with striving for conformity in today's consumer-driven, late-stage capitalist world. 

  
The piece touches on recent discoveries—such as AI regurgitation of old consent violations, the health risks associated with cosmetic fillers, the rising fatalities from plastic surgery and how many 'safe' treatments on AFAB bodies like egg donation come with hidden dangers showcase how little we care for feminine bodies and their research to protect them, while also addressing the broader, more insidious issue: the detachment from authentic human bodies in favor of artificially constructed, hyper-polished personas promoted by digital culture and AI. Even the pills that allegedly Marilyn Monroe took to end her life are a nod to the benign horror of beauty.

This detachment is not just physical but psychological. As media increasingly pushes flawless, 3D-modeled forms, we become further removed from the complexity and richness of real human beauty. Algorithms, by design, promote the status quo, amplifying ideals that are easier to digest and less likely to challenge. Anything outside of this narrow standard is effectively erased, while what is deemed "marketable" becomes the only acceptable version of attractiveness.

  
This pressure to conform is something I’ve personally experienced. As a teenager, extended family members suggested plastic surgery as a reward for my academic achievements—highlighting my supposed physical flaws, from my nose to my hips dips, reinforcing the idea that my natural form wasn’t good enough. This early introduction to body modification is a painful reminder of how quickly society conditions women to feel inadequate. When I told friends and family how I did not wish to have children, I was told I was selfish or to donate/sell my eggs so I would not 'waste them', as if there was an entitlement society had to them, irrespective of my wishes. 

  
The artwork embodies this tension in its two modes: the raw, unfiltered version of the human form, and the perfected, ‘yassified’ counterpart—an exaggerated mask of idealized beauty that society demands. It asks: what do we sacrifice in this pursuit of perfection or, more commonly, normalcy? And who decides the worth of these ideals?

Engineered for Success

Standing at just shy of 6 feet tall, Skull Bride is an examination of gender, bio-arboreous aspects and aspects of organic technology.

As written in Synkroniciti's 'Vunerable' Issue -

'We feature Skull Bride, a luminous creation in watercolor and ink with gold leaf on paper. This is an enigmatic and animated female figure, solidly inhabiting the uncanny valley, evoking both the computer-generated world of robots and AI and the organic world of roots and bones. She is objectified--her face and nude body made of panels which separate to reveal a green tangle of wires holding her together. In turn, she holds an object in her hand, a skull which seems to be sprouting and flowering. The confusion between what is organic and what is manufactured is fascinating and an excellent metaphor for today's world, in which the latter is being grafted into the former, changing the essential nature of both. Where is humanity, headed and what form will life take in the not-so-distant future? Will AI become the new mother of life? Amber's work is stunningly beautiful and entrancing, marked by intelligence and technical skill. It recalls H.R. Giger's bio-mechanoids, but with a less-monstrous visage and vivid color, a feminine twist on male-dominated sci-fi culture. Amber turns the masochism and misogyny that often dominates that field into an affirmation of feminine creative power.'

Skull Bride

The piece, "The Mortification of Body Ownership," explores the challenges of being human. It looks at the social, biological, and mental struggles of living in a human body and the lack of control we have over it. It highlights how our bodies can betray us with illnesses and cancer, and how they can act against our will, reminiscent of Lovecraft's stories. It also examines how society uses the body and by proxy, us. How we sell our physical labour and time in various jobs, and how people are often reduced to their body parts and are constantly aware of this.

  
The piece also delves into the feelings of great embarrassment, death of various kinds and shame that come with these experiences. It reflects on the humiliation and loss of dignity we face, and how our bodies can be a source of awkwardness and discomfort. It touches on the theme of bodily control, both self inflicted or external drawing parallels with religious practices that involve subduing or punishing the flesh. This aspect emphasises the struggle to control our desires and the internal conflict of disciplining and suppressing our natural instincts.

  

The Mortification of Body Ownership

Painted in the style reminiscent of the sacred heart, the piece is inspired by a personal experience of the artist. It remembers a member of their community hanging themselves between the quietest and the busiest service on Sunday from the choir balcony. The piece discusses aspects of religious connections, the re-evaluation of figures we know and faith, along with personal intersections between women, self identification and power. It ruminates on both the positive and negative ways community, power and isolation can be wielded.

  

Hanging Between 11 and 12 Sunday Service

Caillach

'26- I am now a year older than my grandmother when she died' synthesizes a traditional hyper-feminine aesthetic, QR coding, and blacklight ink, shifting the image into something deeply personal to the artist's personal history.

The artwork asks for the viewer to interrogate their place in the world, and their cultural and familial history. The images within images layers aspects of video, audio and intellectual elements that are usually overlooked or are assumed not to be present in a hyper-feminine vessel. Invisible ink and QR show aspects of what can be hidden by someone's outward appearance, grating access into their inner world.

26 - I am now a year older than my grandmother when she died

"Who am I performing for?" is an exploration of performative femininity and gender, inspired by the experiences of individuals, particularly AFAB (assigned female at birth) women, grappling with autism, masking, acceptance, and misdiagnosis. The piece evokes aspects of societal expectations and self-identity, inviting viewers to contemplate the complex interplay between conformity and authenticity. How much worth can be placed in conditional acceptance? What emotions are brought up when you unmask your true self and are met with dissociation? The art originally featured in Ireland's National Campaigns for Neurodiversity awareness in 2024.

  

Who Am I Performing For?

'Complicity's Veil" captures the essence of a world where technological advancement and material obsession have led to environmental degradation and a deep-seated alienation from our true selves.This artwork critiques consumerism and environmental neglect, illustrating how macro-level issues manifest within the microcosm of the self. It delves into the feelings of disconnection from the physical form—both as an organic being and as a woman navigating social constructs. The piece invites viewers to reflect on their own complicity within these systems and the ways in which identity is shaped, constrained, and sometimes fragmented by external forces. It is a call to acknowledge these entanglements and consider the possibility of reclaiming autonomy and fostering a more authentic connection with both our inner selves, technology, and the world around us.

Complicity's Veil

"C2H60" is an introspective artwork that explores the prevalent sense of detachment in modern society, the yearning for genuine connections, and the substitution of addiction in place of human bonds. Whether that addiction is mental, digital or physical. The artist, who has always felt somewhat removed from conventional notions of enjoyment, has come to realize the shared emotional landscape that unites individuals. This realization serves as the backdrop for an examination of the contemporary loneliness epidemic and the alarming rise in various forms of addiction, drawing intriguing correlations between the two.

C2H60

The artwork titled "Dullahan' speaks to the inherent violence carried within generational curses. This piece draws inspiration from the brutal history of Irish women who were taken by the Normans, had their tongues cut out, and were forced to bear Norman children. The act of cutting out their tongues was a deliberate attempt to eradicate the Irish language and culture.

  
In the artwork, the Dullahan - a creature in Irish mythology that is associated with death - is depicted in female form, evoking the ongoing violence against women and the erasure of their cultures. The bold lines and stark contrasts of the piece serve to highlight the brutality of this history and the ongoing legacy of violence that continues to impact women today.

  

Dullahan

The artwork titled "An Gorta Mór" explores the modern world's relationship with beauty standards, cultural appropriation, and the self-consumption of women and AFAB people. The title references the Great Famine in Ireland, caused by colonial rule under Britain, where the wealthiest members of society took from the poorest of their colonies for their comfort.

  
Similarly, we witness a repetition of this pattern in the modern world, where cultures are stripped of their traditions and appropriated for mass-market consumption. The artwork highlights the impact of this cultural erasure on individuals, particularly women, who are primed to hate their own natural features and are pushed to appropriate other identities to fit into fast-moving trends and ever-changing beauty standards.
  
  

An Gorta Mor

The artwork titled "Pixel Rose" is a digital portrait that explores the difficulty of finding identity in a world where everything is expected to be used for profit. In this piece, the subject's face is made up of pixelated blocks, representing the fragmentation and distortion of one's identity in a society that places so much value on commodification.

Through the use of digital technology, "Pixel Rose" highlights the increasing importance of technology in shaping and defining our identities. The artwork invites viewers to reflect on the challenges of navigating the modern world, where social media and other digital platforms often prioritize superficial aesthetics and monetization over authentic self-expression.
  
  

Pixel Rose

"Birth of a -" is a mixed media installation that critiques prevailing beauty standards, the valuation of women, the pervasive influence of internet culture, and the resulting detachment and dehumanization stemming from an excessive emphasis on visual allure.

At its core, "Birth of a -" features a sizable, operational clock face adorned with ten descending numeric markers, symbolizing the countdown from ten to one. The piece draws parallels to the dominance of internet culture, where the most widely viewed content revolves around assigning arbitrary numeric ratings to individuals, often leading to social censure for those who resist participating in their own objectification.

  
The interactive dimension of the artwork adds an immersive layer of engagement. As the clock's battery gradually depletes, the clock's hand eventually comes to a halt, aligning with a specific numeric marker. This static moment prompts a transformative shift within the artwork—the inscription "A birth a '6'" is unveiled. This transition serves as a subtle reminder that beauty standards are transient and culturally constructed, rather than fixed and universal. The title's enigmatic use of the '-' character underscores the central concept, signifying that even iconic figures like Marilyn Monroe, Nina Simone, and Aphrodite would face analogous scrutiny in the contemporary era, much like the critiques directed at Margot Robbie today. 

  
This stark juxtaposition raises questions about the challenges faced by unconventional beauty within a modern context, marked by the pressures of cosmetic procedures, image filters, and the constant surveillance of social media in every facet of our lives.
  
  

Birth of a ---

Zepotha delves into ideas of collective consciousness, exploring the phenomenon of trends and their transformative impact on artistic recognition. The work underscores that artistic innovation, while paramount, can be eclipsed by the prevailing cultural Zeitgeist. Zepotha was birthed within the realm of a multi-million-viewed TikTok trend, emblematic of how creative endeavours can either fall in obscurity or flourish in the limelight based on their alignment with the prevailing cultural currents. The piece discusses the artists own experience of virality mixed with what that asks of women on the internet and the abuse that is normalized towards public individuals.

  
Zepotha encapsulates the enigma of artistic success, forged at the intersection of innovation, cultural currents, and the shared spirit of a community. It stands as a testament to the capricious trajectory of artistic recognition, the emptiness at seeking recognition without connection and an interrogation of chasing dreams without understanding your true motive behind it.
  
  

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