involuntarily losing touch with humanity 
is strange 
sometimes I lay with both my hands intertwined
sometimes I close my eyes and reminisce the scent of her hair 
weed doesn't hit the same anymore
unless I dim the lights with the night sky,
cascading into my bedroom
the only thing that brings me joy is food
sitting on my study eating meals that remind me of home
so grateful for taste buds 
reading feels like a task
screens are my only apocalyptic companions
who would've thought,
real life would turn into a melancholic black mirror episode in slo-mo
still I dream of hugging trees and holding her close 
of human sounds that fill your ears 
as soon as you enter a cafe
never thought I'd miss existing



Existing

Self isolation makes me feel like 
I have ceased to exist,
With boundaries and freedom morphing into one
Thoughts and doubts of uncertainty that lies ahead 
I sit in my room trying to fight fear that's slowly consuming me
I'd rather be fuelled by fear 
I'd rather feel like I'm on the edge of glory
I'd rather feel like it's the beginning
I'd be lying if I said there was no upside to any of this
Because there always is
The slowdown has given me the magical gift  of nostalgia
It's made me think about my roots, love and 
the sense of community
It's trippy as fuck but I'm ready to jump into the unknown
In confinement, I found perceptive freedom


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NHYLAR